Things that drive a dive instructor crazy...

- When divers are attempting to dry their regulator dust caps and they crank their tanks open full force to blast the air out so anyone within a 10m radius temporarily loses their hearing. If I wanted my eardrums blown out then I just wouldn't have bothered to equalise on my dive.

- When you specifically tell people not to rush into any wetsuits or gear because there will be a long boat ride followed by a dive site briefing but they completely ignore you and start putting on their weight belts anyway.

- When you ask divers to tell you when they're at half a tank but the first signal they communicate is that they are at 500 psi and you're at 100ft and as far from the boat as possible at that point.

- When you ask divers to stay together in the group and follow you, but as soon as you get under they scatter like marbles and swim any which way they feel like. Obviously, having never dived the site before they must know it better than the dive guide.

- When you ask a 250lb guy how much weight he needs and he is adamant that he only needs 6lbs and you know it is going to be your job to supply him with the other 16lbs he will discover he needs as soon as he attempts to descend.

And finally...

- When people break the reef with their fins, harass the marine life or collect souvenirs. Take only pictures, leave only bubbles.